The Mating Rituals of the Next Door Praying Mantis
by wooster182
Summary: A game of Wii between Sheldon and Penny becomes seductive and enticing. P/S oneshot. Again, thank you Angelgrl0284 for inspiring and then forcing me to write this.


Penny used her spare key to walk freely into the apartment across the hall. She had arrived half an hour before Chinese takeout night, but she was trying to convince herself that she hadn't done so for a reason. "Hi, Sheldon!" she said with chirpy peppiness.

Sheldon didn't look back, intently focusing on the television in front of him. "Hello, Penny. I'd ask you how you are, but I'm using a new tactic to beat my best score which is already quite impressive."

She chuckled, saying, "Sheldon, sweetie, wouldn't it have taken less time to just ask me how I was doing than explain all that?"

His hand squeezed the Wii controller tighter in his hand. "Yes, but I was trying to avoid actually hearing how you are. That would take so much of my needed time."

She blinked and smiled, ignoring his last comment as she went and sat down on the couch. One of his knees came up high as he lifted both of his hands close to his chest. With mechanical-like reflexes, his arm flew out and hit the tiny ball on the screen digitally. Once he had finished the level and paused the game to approach her, she asked, "So does this new Wii tactic have to do with you acting like a bug?"

He pointed his finger at her as he came around the table to sit down in his spot next to her. "You know, insects have an uncanny ability to move like nature's strongest athletes. They have the best reflexes."

She raised her eyebrows and nodded obligatorily. Then said, "And you chose a praying mantis..."

Shaking his head, he said, "I actually did not choose a specific animal. I was practicing Yoga exercises at an accelerated speed to have the agility and speed to hit the ball at the right time. It is an interesting idea to try to imitate an insect, however, and I will practice certain animal characteristics now. Thank you, Penny, for your astuteness. You truly do have an uncanny instinct for video games for your attractiveness level."

Dizzy from his speech, she looked at him, dryly. "Yeah...you still looked like a praying mantis."

Slightly excited, he said, "Do you want to hear an interesting tidbit about the praying mantis?"

"I bet you're about to tell me, Moonpie," she said cockily.

Anger flashed through his eyes and his jaw clenched. "For the last time, you are not my mee-maw; therefore you do not have the right or authority--"

She held her hands up and interrupted him, saying, "Okay, okay, what is interesting about the praying mantis?" When he relaxed his jaw, she said under her breath, "Moonpie."

He squinted at her, but continued. "The praying mantis is interesting because during the act of mating, it decapitates its mate's head to distribute eggs inside of it."

She raised her brow and her bottom lip stuck out in thought. "Remind me never to mate with you then."

Putting his hand on her shoulder, he leaned slightly closer and his voice dipped as he said, "I would never decapitate you while we were mating."

She blushed and looked down at her lap. The room got small and hot and neither could breathe that well. When she looked back up at him, she saw that for the first time, he was actually looking at her.

But then his eyes sharpened and his back got straighter. In his scientifically condescending tone, he said, "That is, if I were to ever find you an appropriate mate. Besides, it would be completely impractical for me to try to produce offspring in your head cavity."

She relaxed and smiled. "That is oddly comforting. Sort of."

The rest of the guys piled into the room, Howard and Raj speaking loudly until Raj spotted Penny. Leonard came in right behind them with the bags of Chinese. "Hey, guys," Leonard said to Penny and Sheldon as he set the food down. "What'cha doing?"

Sheldon said, "We were discussing the mating rituals of the praying mantis."

Drolly, Leonard grumbled, "Oh how interesting."

Sheldon and Penny stared at each other and smiled. She said, "Actually, Leonard, it was."

The end.


End file.
